How to Help Your Orgasm

Tips to Reaching Orgasm Each Time

Whether you’re masturbating with or without a vibrator or having sex with your partner, the goal remains the same: getting that big O. But sometimes it can be harder than usual to achieve: Maybe you’re stressed about work or family obligations, or a fight with a friend is weighing on your mind.

External stressors can really take you out of the moment. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to help yourself get in the mood and nab that big finish.


This might seem a little basic, but it’s essential. When you’re stressed, your nervous system kicks into its “fight or flight” mechanism, flooding your body with hormones that boost energy in preparation for the perceived threat (and fighting or fleeing from it). That’s the last physical response you want when masturbating and/or having sex.

Taking a few controlled, deep breaths is a good place to start. Deep breathing signals your body to calm down (and chase off those “fight or flight” hormones), and will help you feel more balanced and in control of your mind and body. But, sometimes you might need something a bit more structured. There are many breathing techniques specifically for relaxation just a Google search away.

Set The Scene

It’s a rare woman who is able to focus on getting off if she’s not in the mindset. And setting the physical scene is a large part of that.

It can be helpful to arrange your space to help you focus on achieving maximum pleasure. It doesn’t matter if you’re in your bedroom or living room; clear any distractions (including technology) that could rudely take you out of the moment. You can also turn down the lights, turn on some sensual music and light candles. It’s all about what you need to help please yourself!

Stimulate Your Imagination

Fantasizing can help throughout each step of masturbating. It can help you get aroused initially, and also carry you through to the finish line. Whatever works for you, just picture it and you’re on your way.

Maybe there’s a specific fantasy scenario you return to again and again. Or you can switch it up by imagining something completely different and see where that takes you. But your fantasy fodder doesn’t need to come solely from within and from your own preferences. Watching porn or reading erotica that plays into your personal sexual preferences can jump-start some new fantasy scenarios. Who knows, it could spark a better orgasm!

Touch Yourself

Foreplay isn’t just for partnered sex. It’s a great way to get yourself in the mood too. There’s no wrong way to touch yourself; the only important aspect is that it works for you.

A great way to start is to lightly touch your erogenous zones. Obvious ones include the nipples, clitoris and vulva, but don’t forget other areas such as the neck, thighs and navel. You can use gentle stroking and circular motions to climb the levels of arousal.

Use A Toy

If your fingers (or your partner’s appendages) aren’t doing the trick, it’s time to call in the big guns and break out the toys. The great thing about toys is that they’re equal-opportunity in that you can both use them solo and with a partner.

Clitoral and G-spot vibrators are usually the toys of choice for masturbation. Clitoral vibrators can be used both internally and externally, while G-spot vibrators are solely for internal stimulation. Choose whatever toy works best for you to get the climax you deserve!

Relax and Have Fun!

Some nights (or days) will be easier than others. It can be difficult to quiet your mind and listen to your body. Your body knows what works, so all you have to do is tune in and follow it.

But, don’t put undue pressure on yourself to have an orgasm; just go with the flow. If you climax, great! If not, it doesn’t mean your session was a failure. There’ll be many more opportunities, and remember that practice makes perfect.

Life always gets stressful, and it’s important to relieve that stress in some way. Masturbating is a great way to do so, and even keeps up your overall health. Although stress might threaten to take over your self-love session, there are ways to keep it at bay while you work towards your climax.