When it comes to sex, knowledge is power and the first step to unleashing that power begins with understanding your own needs and desires. Not only will you be able to please yourself whenever you need a little self-loving, you’ll also be able to guide your future lovers with confidence and know-how. Perhaps the most exciting aspect of sex (and masturbation) is that, since you are constantly evolving, it is as well so there is always more to discover and learn about yourself. Let’s get started, shall we?
Actually, one more quick yet important thing before we dive in: We want to suggest that you reserve a quiet evening to yourself so that you can get down without interruption. Ok, let’s go!
Start From the Top: The Brain
You probably thought we’d jump straight to your erogenous zones and sexual body parts, didn’t you? Don’t worry – We’ll get there soon enough but first things first: You have to get your head in the game!
Once you’re relaxed, whether it be in bed or a warm bath, close your eyes and think about what turns you on. Perhaps it’s the thought of your lover, your sexy new colleague, your bad-boy ex (hey, who’s going to know?), or that woman you locked eyes with on the dance floor last weekend. What are you two (or three or four…) doing? Are you touching? Lightly or gently? Is she saying anything? Is it dirty or innocent? And how do you respond? Are you dominant or submissive? Don’t overthink anything, just let your mind wander – this is your time, there is no wrong scenario, and you might surprise yourself as you answer these questions.
If you’re having any trouble getting started, no worries. Websites like Make Love Not Porn and erotica books are excellent resources to help inspire sexy thoughts and you just may come to learn something about your turn-ons.
Diving Into The Deep-End
Without going full medical exam here, let’s review to ensure you know what you’re working with and ideas for how to work it solo!
First, the vagina ownersladies:
The Mons Pubis: This is the area that rests on your pubic bone and is covered in pubic hair (unless you’ve removed it which is totally cool). Stimulate yourself with some gentle stroking or apply heavier pressure to the area – Your choice, obviously, but may we suggest mixing it up? While this may not get you “off”, it will help you relax into things…
The Outer and Inner Labia: As described in this post, the outer and inner labia come in various colors and sizes and they’re all gorgeous. Using a bit of lube (a quarter-sized dollop or less will do), massage both your inner and outer lips. For some, a little squeezing is pleasurable, too, so why not try experimenting?
The Clitoris: Ahh, yes – The star of the show! The clitoris houses all the nerve endings (more than 8,000!) in your genitals and is therefore how most women achieve orgasm. If you’re having trouble finding yours, know that it is located just above your labia line and it might be “hiding” under a clitoral hood. For many, rubbing your fingers in a quick circular motion on your clitoris will bring you to full orgasm but if you’re looking for something with intensity, we recommend the cute yet powerful Tango. You’re welcome.
The Vagina: The vagina is located just behind your urethra (where you urinate from) and is used for penetration as well as, you know, a birth canal. While the clitoris tends to get all the glory, the vagina should certainly not be ignored. Don’t be afraid to explore using either your fingers and/or a vibrator like our Rave.
The G-Spot: While its existence is hotly debated, if the G-Spot does exist (and many swear up and down IT DOES), you’ll find it on the top of the inside of your vagina; that is, the wall of your vagina that is closer to your stomach than your back. Use your finger to search this area for a slightly protruding, dense, and spongy area which is about the size of a nickel. May we suggest using the Nova aka the “two birds, one stone” pleasure toy if you’re really looking to #treatyoself (and really, why wouldn’t you be?)
Now, to the penis ownersgents:
The Penis: Unlike the some clitorides, the penis isn’t hard to find but did you know that not all areas of the penis are created equal? If you have a penis, of course you did. The underside of the glans (head) and the underside of the shaft are the most sensitive to sexual pleasure and this includes masturbation; with that in mind, don’t think that the vibrating toys are only for the girls – Something like the Tango just might add a whole new level to your orgasm. If you’re looking to try something different without a toy, consider changing your position (sitting up, lying on your back, lying on your side, kneeling, etc.) Whether you’re using your hands or a toy, don’t forget to use lube (and again, a little goes a long way!)
The Scrotum: A little scrotum masturbation action never hurt anybody! Play with your balls and be sure to focus on the seam that runs between the two testicles themselves, the underside of your ball sack (where your sack turns into your perineum), and the area where your sack meets the shaft of your penis. Don’t forget that vibrations can elevate the experience!
And finally, for everyone!:
The Perineum: Heading a little further back from the vagina or penis, you’ll find the perineum. (If you’ve reached the anus, you’ve gone too far.) This area also contains nerve endings and many find it sexually pleasing to massage it, either by hand or with a vibrator.
The Anus: You’re probably familiar with this one but not necessarily as a sexual organ, at least not when it comes to masturbating. However, considering how many nerve endings are located here, we recommend using your fingers or a vibrator to tease yourself a bit. By the way, lube will become your best friend if you enjoy anal play.
We wouldn’t be your go-to sex blog if we didn’t also advise you to give attention to your breasts and nipples. For both women and men, massaging and squeezing the breasts and nipples can enhance the solo foreplay and often be what puts you over the edge to the big “O”. In general, caressing your own body feels pretty great so relax and enjoy it – Besides, what’s the rush?
There are a lot of wonderful things about masturbation but the best thing about it is that there’s no pressure. You can go at your own pace, explore your fantasies without ever feeling silly, try new things without having to commit if they don’t work for you, and eventually share your newfound sexual discoveries with a lover (if you want) so go and have fun!
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