As a couple, don’t let your children come between you.

I mean that literally and figuratively. I meet a lot of couples whose primary issue with lack of sexual activity is they have a child sleeping in between them. As I write this, I realize that at least one of the partners in the relationship will probably not agree with me – the one who wants the child in the bed. The problem isn’t just the lack of sex, but the lack of intimacy which is so important to staying close to one another.

With a child in between you it’s nearly impossible to snuggle in the middle of the night or wake up early for a quickie, not to mention the obvious that it’s difficult to have sex in general. I mean, how does that work? You go sneak into their bedroom while they’re in your bed to have a quickie? That means there’s no time for romance and taking your time to enjoy each other. You’re just trying to “get it over with” before your child hears you. This makes me sad because without sex and intimacy, you’re just roommates.

[colored_box title=”You Might Need Monster Spray If…..” variation=”slategrey”]Don't Let Children Come Between You[/colored_box]

Recently a customer was in my store and had been wanting to find a way to get her little girl (2 yrs old) out of their bed. She had honestly been trying but inevitably she would tip toe back into their bed in the middle of the night. Lots of excuses are used by a child to convince the parents to let them back in and this girl’s main one was monsters.

Off the top of my head I said, “You need some monster spray!”

As she looked at me funny, I told her I was serious. Go to the store, buy some Febreze and put a label over it that says “Monster Spray.” Another tactic is positive reinforcement. When your child spends the entire night without coming into your room, simply reward them! It’s just basic psychology but if you have the right reward then it will work. It can be a physical object, a trip to the zoo, extra attention time (like playing a board game), whatever works. Also let your child know how proud you are of them and what a big boy/girl they are! Your enthusiasm that they did so good will go a long way, as children love to please their parents. It may take a few tries and even a few weeks but persistency is the key. Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better but stand firm that this is going to happen. Your real reward will be worth it in the end!

I hope this helps! Being a parent is one of the greatest joys in life but don’t forget about being a lover! You’ll be amazed at how it enhances your relationship!